Photo By: Denise Benson Photography
I can't believe it's been this long since I've published a blog post. The reason for that is exactly what topic I'm covering today - I was hit in the face with a series of unfortunate events that I won't even begin to elaborate on to spare myself the agony of reliving them again. However, I managed to come out on the other side unscathed and even better than ever. We all know life is persistently compared to a rollercoaster due to the highs and lows, excitement and fear and especially the drastic speed and directional changes that can occur. So since we know that, why are we always surprised and downtrodden when the unexpected happens? Because we don't have a game plan for that! Hours can be spent thinking of how you're going to spend that million dollars should you win the lottery unexpectedly, but not even 5 seconds are spent on "what happens if things start falling apart at the seams?" - It's time to equip yourself with the tools and strategies necessary to survive any downward spiral or tailspin that may come your way. And no, I'm not saying have the worst case scenario in the front of your mind at all times but I do think it's useful to know the steps to take when things get out of hand.
So without further ado, I present to you what I'm calling The Ultimate Survival Guide for A Series Of Unexpected Events:
Let Go Of Expectation & Embrace Flow
Expectation: a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future
->A synonym for expectation is ASSUMPTION
Flow: proceed or be produced smoothly, continuously, and effortlessly
->A synonym for flow is MOVEMENT
So, which one do you want to align yourself with?
Expectations can be damaging when we become so emotionally invested in them it prevents us from accepting any other possible scenario as the outcome. When we reject the likelihood of something outside of what we have already planned in our head as the be-all and end-all it's a set up that ends in devastation. The only constant in life is change, we are always in a state of flux so why not embrace that.
This is also a great time to tie into The Law of Detachment straight from The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra, definitely a favorite book of mine and worth reading.
But the Law of Detachment serves to remind us that relinquishing our attachment (or expectation) to the result or outcome gives us even greater freedom to create anything that we want with what we are given. This type of thinking encourages you to flow and be open to accepting the excitement and adventure that comes with change instead of mulling over what could have been.
Be Aware of Your Emotions
This is a small task but it can make a HUGE difference when it comes to trekking through the muddy waters of difficult times.
Emotional awareness is a gift, by tracking your emotions you're able to understand the contributing factors of your current feelings and how that impacts your behavior. Start to understand not only how you feel in the moment, but also what is making you feel that way or why - the connections will help you better to handle situations that you know may serve as a trigger. It could be useful to keep a journal or notes section in your phone to keep record of those feelings for you to reflect on then move past in a positive manner.
Do Things You Enjoy
It becomes easier and easier to slip into the victim mentality when things just flat out aren't going your way, subconsciously we start participating in self sabotaging behaviors like denying ourselves the pleasure of things we find enjoyable - tragic. Don't let this be you. Throw yourself even more into things that make you happy, don't deprive yourself of the simple things that can add silver linings to any dark clouds.
I would be remiss not to mention the option of seeking energy work for yourself when feeling overwhelmed with everything going on in life. Energy work like Reiki works with the energetic, physical and emotional aspects of the individual to address imbalances on all levels. It is extremely effective in helping others increase awareness, insight, wisdom and personal growth as well as providing stress relief. As a Reiki practitioner I offer that service along with others like guided meditation which you can learn more about and book here, but I also love to answer any questions that you may still have about the practice after reviewing the FAQ page.
Utilize Your Support System
While wallowing in our misery alone seems like a viable option at the time, it is extremely unhealthy and does absolutely nothing for our forward movement out of a rut. Family, friends, co-workers and especially therapists can provide a healthy environment for you to work through your issues and serve as a reminder that you are not in this alone and there are people rooting for you that have your back. While you don't have to be a social butterfly, make sure you're still communicating with those around you and if you're comfortable enough sharing your feelings do that as well. You never know how uplifting others can be when you need it the most if you don't give them the opportunity to be there for you.
It should go without saying but THIS one I'm putting extra emphasis on. I love to talk about how the power of positive thinking and positivity are grossly underrated when it comes to pushing through difficult times, but as discussed in my previous blog post on the impact positive thinking has on changing the structure of our brain and in turn our life, it really does matter. This was the main goal for my sister and I when we created Absolute Affirmations, being able to put yourself in that positive mindset and realize that there is good to be acknowledged and celebrated even when it's a little bit harder to find. Use positive self talk, mantras or affirmations to give you that boost to propel you back into that feel good state.
Don't ever forget that everything terrible that has ever happened to you is now in the past and you're living to tell the tale - you got this! Take time to breathe, think things through, refer to this list and fight through the rough patches.
Is there anything that you think deserves to be on this list that didn't make it? I want to hear it! Leave a comment on this post, the Facebook Page or my recent Instagram post about your survival tips for the unfortunate life events!